Learning to
Number Our Days
Looking Back, Looking Ahead, Part One – The Unexpected Birth
These are interesting days in the Straub household. After sixteen years in the same job, rather unexpectedly, I find myself displaced. At nearly 64 years old, I am seeking a new direction in life. Admittedly, this is not what I had hoped for at this juncture, but it clearly is what the Lord has planned. As Proverbs 16:9 reminds us, “The heart of man plans his way, but the LORD establishes his steps” (ESV). Having walked in this world as a Christian for more than 45 years, we have followed the path the Lord has laid before us but, again and again, we have not always had the clarity we would like. Having said that, as my wife and I have prayed about our next steps in this faith journey, we have decided that I will concentrate on research and writing for the time being, seeking to use the gifts the Lord has given me to advance the cause of the Gospel and encourage the Lord’s people. Just this past weekend, I had the joy of ministering in a conference outside of Massillon, Ohio for Tim Mishler, of Calvary Baptist Church, a former graduate school roommate and dear friend. We have occasionally been together as families over the years, but he has served the Lord faithfully in his corner of the Lord’s vineyard, while I have tended to the Lord’s work elsewhere. It was good to renew fellowship, catch up on life events that have transpired in the intervening years, and reflect on our individual paths. I may write an essay on that conference in the days ahead but for now, I want to begin a series that I have entitled “Looking Back, Looking Ahead.”
Periodically, I will write autobiographical essays addressing the journey upon which the Lord has placed us to ponder some of the life lessons we have learned along the way. For now, I will omit the first fifteen years of the story, from the time Rebecca and I met through until 1990, the year our third child was born. 1990 will always be one of the most blessed and painful years of our lives. It was a year of blessing as we anticipated the birth of another child, a boy. Our first child had been a girl, Joanna, our second, a boy, Benjamin, and now number three was on his way, another son whom we would name Joshua. Oh, the excitement and anticipation of another son, someone to carry on the family name. My grandfather Paul had three sons, Richard, Walter and Robert Jack. They each had a son, Jeff, Robert, and Timothy. But I alone, of the Paul Straub heirs, had male offspring. It was up to me to keep the family going, and now we were expecting another son to help with this burden.
While 1990 opened as a year of great excitement, it would soon become a year of intense grief. Joshua was due in June, but he decided to make his appearance ten weeks early, in mid-March. His premie birth set us on a path that has led us to where are today—a path of blessing and struggle, of failure and faithfulness—our failure but God’s faithfulness. I want to reflect on these past thirty years and address the challenges through which we have come and by which we have learned to depend upon the Lord more deeply. I hope that our journey will be a blessing and encouragement to others. Ours is a journey into the world of disability . . . life-long, severe, painful, heart-wrenching disability. As I write this essay, Joshua is trying to manage debilitating pain. At times, his pain is excruciating. UPDATE at noon: Since posting this essay about an hour ago, Rebecca has taken Joshua to Urgent Care to try to get pain relief. Thank you in advance for prayer on his behalf.
Joshua Peter was born on March 24 while we were living in High Level, Alberta where we had moved so that I could continue in ministry. We were serving the Lord with Maranatha Baptist Missions of Natchez, Mississippi and had chosen High Level, about as far north in Alberta as one could live at that time and still be “in civilization.” The town was at the crossroads of the MacKenzie Highway and Highway 58 just about mid-way between Edmonton and Yellowknife, Northwest Territories. It started in the late 1940s and became the local trading center for a population of about 15,000. Having worked among Canada’s Ojibwa peoples in Manitoba in our first ministry, we targeted High Level as a base of operations because there were a number of reserves nearby where we might start a new ministry among indigenous peoples. Soon after arrival, it became clear that another church needed to be started in the town which might serve as an anchor for outreach across the northern portion of the province. During the early days, we did ministry in Fort Vermilion, in La Crete and in the Dene Tha’ Nation. We also set to work planting the MacKenzie Highway Baptist Church.
Working at a Canadian Forces Snowbirds event in High Level with the ambulance crew in the late 1980s.
At the same time, I began to work as an EMT in addition to my church planting efforts, to supplement our income. I worked “on call” which allowed me to tend to other things while I waited to be summoned for an emergency. The work also expanded our ministry. It was both interesting and it facilitated ministry as I got to know many of the area residents through this secular work. We were about three years into the church plant when we learned that we were expecting Joshua. This was exciting news: to think about another family member on his way! One day, I was finishing up a medevac in Fort Vermilion and I received a call from the dispatch in High Level that I needed to return to base ASAP as a medevac from High Level to Edmonton was pending. At the same time, there was a medevac in the works in Fort Vermilion, fifty miles east of High Level. I called the station to suggest I stay put to catch this patient while another medic could be sent to handle the pending High Level patient. No I was told, I needed to return ASAP; the patient in need of a medevac was Rebecca, whose water suddenly started to leak. She was ok, but the hospital wanted her in the city in case things progressed and the baby needed to be delivered early. Of course, I nervously returned to High Level and prepared to take my wife via air ambulance to Edmonton so she could be cared for.
The trip by air back to High Level was an anxious one. I needed to make arrangements for Joanna and Benjamin to be cared for in my absence while I flew Rebecca to Edmonton. The city trip would take a minimum of six hours between the transports to and from the hospitals on either end of the flight and the two plus hours of flying time each way depending on the wind. We finally arrived in Edmonton in the evening and I saw that Rebecca was settled at the hospital. Tests were under way and medication was given to slow the contractions with the hopes that delivery could be deferred to allow the baby additional time to develop. Could they stop the leakage of the fluid? How much water had she lost? There was the danger of infection. All of this would take time to assess. In the meantime, I needed to return to the north to care for my young children. So I prayed with my wife and said goodbye. I returned to the airport and boarded the twin-engine plane for the trip home to wait to see what the outcome might be. I didn’t have to wait long. About three days later, the baby came, ten weeks ahead of schedule. We were the proud parents of a newborn son, 3 lbs, 9 oz. This was the beginning of our thirty-year journey. We had no idea what lay before us. But God did. Could we trust Him?
Let the Conversations Continue
There has been a lot of back and forth over Grace Community Church’s decision to defy the LA order against church gatherings. Coupled with restraining orders and their lifting, GCC has not only to contend with the civic officials who wish to stop the mass meetings at churches, ostensibly to slow the spread of COVID, it also must address concerns of Christian brothers who oppose their opposition to the restrictions. Part of the argument put forth by GCC is that the stopping of large gatherings seems to be applied unevenly. Churches need to close but other mass gatherings, e.g. civil protests, can go ahead. MacArthur answered that the GCC church is a “peaceful protest.” Among the arguments GCC has used in support of going forward with regular services including the rejection of social distancing and the wearing of masks (curiously changing its earlier position) is that believers are commanded to gather to worship and sing, a necessary part of worship. GCC uses other arguments but for a Christian, this is the most important–Christians are obligated to assemble and worship (Heb 10:25)
Against this practice are several megachurches that have determined to NOT assemble until next year. JD Greear’s Summit Church and Andy Stanley’s North Point Community Church are among the most prominent. Admittedly, a church deciding in advance to have no gathering months ahead is problematic in biblical terms. Perhaps the virus will suddenly disappear. Ok, this seems unlikely. But how can a church simply decide not to be a church? Greear’s solution is 2400 house churches. An interesting solution. But here’s the question–if this is a good solution, why have a megachurch at all? Why not simply disband the large in favor of the small and intimate? Will COVID be the end of megachurches as we know them? This also seems unlikely, but this pandemic may give an opportunity to reflect on what a church is and what it should look like.
In the midst of the repartee, there have been several good essays (here and here) on the issue of opening or staying closed. Not that any particular essay or position is the final word. However, the conversation is both good and necessary. What GCC might need to do in southern California may be different than what someone else does in Utah or North Carolina or Florida, now among the states hardest hit by COVID. There is no “one size fits all” answer to this issue. At least not yet. So it is good and healthy that brothers talk to each other–iron sharpening iron–to fine-tune our arguments and heighten our sense of biblical obligations.
I must say–“Why in the world would John MacArthur, at his age, wish to risk going to jail?” Because truth matters? Because of biblical commands? Because of Constitutional guarantees? John reminds me of Polycarp, that aged saint who perished in the flame rather than deny his Lord. John could simply say, “This is a young man’s game!” “I’m too old and too tired for another fight!” I thank God for John’s courage. Some may think he is grandstanding, but the man has a significant legacy of doing right. Why impugn his motives now? Let’s argue his views, not his motives. John raises one important question that all believers may be called upon to answer in the very near future–How much government control of our lives will we tolerate? Is there a limit to what we will tolerate from OUR government?
For what it’s worth, GCC is not breaking the law. It is following the law, as in the Constitution of the United States, the basis of every civil law in the land. The Constitution bars the state from restricting religious assembly. At all times and in every situation? Well, yes. Because if the state were given power over churches, that power would surely be abused. But is this the only issue? The issue may not be as simple as what we can do but rather what we should do. What about loving our neighbors as ourselves? Does our command to worship God trump (sorry, poor choice of words) our duty to our neighbors? If we put the problem this way, the answer is obvious. God always comes first. So the next question is, must we worship in a particular way to demonstrate that God comes first? What is ultimately wrong with holding two or even three services to allow for social distancing? Ok, what does this do for communion? Doesn’t the church need to gather to observe? As a committed Baptist, I would say yes, but over the years I have seen (and practiced) “partial church” communion. No I am not suggesting a new category in communion studies. But many churches have communion when only part of the assembly is present. If the argument that the WHOLE church needs to be present and we are talking about a megachurch, then maybe what we should be asking is whether or not holding large assemblies of people is really church in the first place. In what sense is the megachurch a church? Their significant size makes whole body life difficult or even impossible. Ah, comes the ready answer–this is the reason for small groups. Small groups minister to individual believers to facilitate body life. Ok, if we are back to that again, that large gatherings cannot do some things, then maybe this is where the conversation should go.
Are churches with thousands of members or adherents or attenders really churches in the first place? Have these churches grown through evangelism or through sheep reallocation? I remember when Chuck Swindoll decided to start a church in the Dallas area in the late 1990s. CT had an article describing how the new church plant went viral. It was simply sheep reallocation not church planting consisting of evangelism and discipleship. I imagine the same may be said of many megachurches. They pop up and “grow” as people leave other churches. But then as we have seen, they fade as fast as they appear (e.g. Mars Hill of Seattle). So are these mega-gatherings really churches in the biblical sense of the term? Maybe COVID gives us a great time to reflect on the nature of the church.
I cannot say infallibly why God ordained COVID. But He certainly did. Maybe He planned these days to provide time for His people to rethink a lot of things that we do or take for granted–the place and priority of worship, the concept of church, the line over which we cannot cross out of obedience to God rather than the government, etc. I say, let these conversations continue while we beg God for mercy, wear a mask and practice social distancing as best we can.
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So Teach Us to Number Our Days
Introduction to my new blog
Welcome to my new blog! I have transitioned from full-time classroom work to semi-retirement. Thanks to my good friend Mark Ward and Forward Design, I am keeping up my academic work through my new website and the writing of this blog. This is a space where I can ponder the lessons God is working in my own life and hopefully encourage other believers in their walk with the Lord. Welcome to my inaugural essay. My plan is post articles occasionally as I consider happenings in the wider Christian world. This blog will not stray deeply into the political arena. There are several reasons for this. First, others have better things to say than I do. I will leave political commentary to the “experts.” Second, this world is not my home, I’m just passing through (as the song goes) so why should I expend a significant amount of energy pondering the temporal? The eternal has more significance, so I will dwell on God, his Word and his work in this world. Third, no matter what happens in November, the Eternal One is still sovereign. He determines the who as well as the when and the what. Oh yes, I vote, but He is the One who rules. This is His world to do with what He pleases.
Thoughts on Our Current Global Crisis
These are strange days in our world. Who would have thought last December when the word of a new virus was emerging in China, that the world would be gripped by a global pandemic? The last global crisis was a century ago when the Spanish flu decimated as much as 5% of the global population, estimated at just under 2 billion. The death toll estimates from that outbreak which lasted from 1918-1920 range between 17 million and 100 million worldwide. To date, about nine months into COVID-19, we have had about 775,000 deaths and 22 million infections–a long way from the pandemic of one hundred years ago. Of course, no one really knows the extent of the virus and only God knows the actual death toll. Hence, 2020 will be a year we will long remember as a year of uncertainty and fear. Things may get significantly worse before they get better. But remember, God is sovereign!
Last December, my personal journey was rocked by two serious calamities. The first happened early in the month when our chimney caught fire necessitating our immediate evacuation and a call to 9-1-1. Having a son in a wheelchair, the fear of fire is very real, and the roar of the blazing chimney brought us face to face with a possible catastrophe. Thankfully, our very professional Plymouth Fire Department, whose station was less than a mile from our home, arrived on the scene, quickly extinguishing the fire. No damage to the house was sustained other than the twin chimneys which needed repair due to the heat to make them safe again. $9500 later, we could use our fireplace in time for Christmas.
Shortly after the fire, I had occasion to fill the pulpit at an area church. After lunch, I sat in my comfortable easy chair for a nap or to read the paper. When it was time to go to church, I arose and was immediately chilled to the bone. We went to church anyway but I could only manage to endure five minutes of the service before I told my wife we needed to go home. I was very sick. At home, I returned to the easy chair. After a few minutes, I attempted to rise but immediately fell to the floor, having no strength to lift my rather large frame. My wife and some neighbors couldn’t help me rise, so again 9-1-1 summoned the local fire department and four strong men lifted me to a sitting position.
At this point, my memory is foggy. apparently I was talking rather incoherently (no surprise for my students!). One of the fireman offered to call an ambulance. Quickly arriving, the crew transported me to a local hospital and the next thing I remember was awaking up on Monday afternoon to the realization that I was in a hospital, but just why, I could not say. For the next five days, I was treated for sepsis, brought on by a leg infection. I was finally released on Friday and spent the next couple of weeks regaining my strength.
In the plan of God, my next pulpit supply was back in the same church where the day I became ill. As I considered upon what to preach, Psalm 90:12 came to my mind–“So teach us to numbers our days, that we may apply our hearts unto wisdom.” (KJV) God had reminded me recently of the fragility of life. This would make a good year-end sermon for the Lord’s people before whom I would soon preach.
As 2020 opened, COVID-19 was a small problem in China and few imagined how serious things were to become in the United States . . . until the end of February. This is when the Center for Disease Control marked the first death due to COVID-19, although deaths from this disease likely started three weeks earlier in the San Francisco area. Now Americans were becoming fearful. I preached twice in March before churches were closed. On both Sundays, March 8th and March 15th, I again took the saints in two other churches to the 90th Psalm for a reflection on the psalmist’s admonition–“So teach us to number our days to that we get a heart of wisdom.” Whatever God was doing in our world, it seemed to me that He was reminding us of our own mortality. Then the Minnesota governor ordered the closing of churches and my preaching opportunities ended for an indefinite period of time. Trips to San Francisco, to Richmond, to Romania and to Zambia were also cancelled. No one was going anywhere by air, at least.
I returned to the pulpit on July 29th, four months after COVID-19 closed the churches. Finally pulpit-supply opportunities opened as pastors could take some needed vacation. But things in our world were chaotic at best. The health crisis had only deepened and the death toll continued to rise. Fear seemed to grip our world. On top of the fear of the virus came civil unrest starting right here in Minnesota. It has spread across the United States and around the world. The occasion was the death of an African-American man at the hands of the police. Our city burned and a global season of anarchy seemed to erupt. Again the question came to my mind–upon what should I preach? What can I offer the Lord’s people at a time of unprecedented chaos and crisis?
Again I turned to the 90th Psalm–“So teach us to number our days, that we may get a heart of wisdom.” This psalm is a good and timely message to offer to believers and unbelievers alike. Moses, the author of the Psalm, starts with a reminder that God is eternal–“from everlasting to everlasting,” while man is temporal–we will return to dust. What a contrast–the eternal God and mortal humanity. As we walk in this world, our confidence must be upon God who will keep us through this chaos and bring us into His eternal rest. All COVID can do is kill us. To be absent from the body is to be present with the Lord! Why should we fear? At the same time, we must ponder the brevity of life–it is a vapor that quickly vanishes (James 4:14)–it should not be wasted.
Are you a believer? Do not fear the virus, God is sovereign. Take precautions, certainly, but do not fear. Are you not a believer? Life is short and uncertain. Trust Him for your future.